If you tell yourself everyday that you are worthless, you find reinforcement of that in every small inconvenience, every minor mistake, and every failed interaction. I finally got to the point so dark, so lonely, so disappointed in myself that I couldn’t stand one more day like this and I knew that I couldn’t live like this anymore. I could either keep feeling like this, or quit every substance and see what could change.
But in new environments where drinking is the norm, I try to keep the fact I’m not drinking under wraps by ordering a Diet Coke or alcohol-free beer on the sly. From my experience, people don’t ask questions when you’re holding a drink, and I don’t want swerving alcohol to be my defining character trait when meeting new people. If you say you’re trying to eat less chocolate or exercise more to improve your health, people generally accept it.
Benefits of being sober curious
Without alcohol, I actually have to face those things so I feel stronger in myself to be able to deal with them if they arise again. But these are all things I can now enjoy sober. By cutting down on drink I’ve grown more confident and comfortable in who I am, and I now prefer the sober version of myself – a state of affairs 16-year-old me would scarcely believe. This doesn’t have to mean cutting alcohol out entirely either – “I drink, so it the impact of alcohol doesn’t worry me enough to stop,” Professor Nutt says. There are two main ways ditching alcohol has benefitted my health. Start small, like going for a walk around the neighborhood, with the plan to one day try jogging.
What are the rules of being sober curious?
Like any other significant life change that affects your daily routine, it does take some solid stakes in order to make it stick. There has to be an un-fun reason to not do the fun thing. In that way, yeah, you have to hit a point where the pros no longer outweigh the cons.
Not drinking doesn’t mean giving up other activities you enjoy
She later mentioned that she hadn’t had a drink in almost a decade. Yes, but also, it’s usually the case that fresh faces are sober faces. There are plenty of negative elements to getting sober too. And, although I absolutely believe that the positives outweigh the negatives, I also think that it’s essential that those of us who are sober talk about the bad parts too. If someone asks why you’re not drinking, keep it light and simple.
- It’s normal to feel actual heartache, sob for hours, order yourself takeout twice in one day, and eat ice cream while watching garbage rom-coms.
- Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous.
- In that way, yeah, you have to hit a point where the pros no longer outweigh the cons.
- People I’d hung out with and felt close to often faded away.
- Socialising is about people, not the drinks.
- When I was growing up, it was clear to me, and others, that I had some self-esteem issues.
If you’re not the bath salts homeless dude eating someone’s face (or at least the other homeless dude getting his face eaten off), you’re not there yet. For some reason, there’s a huge backlash now against 12-step programs and how they’re all culty and shamey and ineffective. You don’t see flabby people telling you that CrossFit is better than SoulCycle, so why are normal drinkers so chill with being all, “My uncle went to AA and he said they’re all Nazis”? Obviously, there are downsides to the program, but you’ll hear much more about them from people who have no experience. I didn’t want to be one of those weird sober people. I was so afraid of being “single” that I stayed in a shitty “relationship.” And honestly, it could have gotten much worse for me.
And, while it has taken me time to get here, that voice in my head still comes back now and then to whisper nonsense that I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve happiness. When it does, I remind myself that knowing I hated myself is hard, but actively A Guide To Sober House Rules: What You Need To Know hating yourself is harder, and having visited both sides of that, I know where I want to be. I’ll never know why I let the darkness carry on for so long, but I never want to go back there. I don’t want to be alone, using, questioning everything, and hoping for the end. I want to be here, active in life, feeling good, and accomplishing things like going to school.
We invite you to share your journey of recovery and be featured on Recovery Connection! Fill out the form below and one of our team members will reach out to help you get started. But I also think the uncomfortable parts of sobriety provide the biggest benefits. Our ability to survive our darker side, and push through despite it, is what makes us better and keeps us sober long term. Where you go for that support is entirely up to you — there are many paths forward. But you have to go forward, and that’s not an easy direction.
As with most problems, the solution is as difficult or as simple as we make it. Sometimes, consider how your behavior has affected others. Or maybe those crotchety old-timers like to complain about life. Or the newcomer has unrealistic expectations and judges others unfairly.
That’s when I went into work, and opened up to my boss about everything. I guess at that moment, I thought so little of myself, that it didn’t matter how the conversation went, I was going to leave anyways, but what I got back after a conversation full of realness was amazing. Instead of the rejection I expected, I got support, and that’s when the first bright moment occurred for my self-esteem. Now that I’m on the other side, in sobriety, I’m back in school, in a great relationship and have some really supportive friends and colleagues at work who challenge me to be better each day than the day before.
Feeling Like Being Sober Sucks? 12 Tips for Feeling Better
For people with a drinking problem, alcohol can be like a loving, supportive partner with a major dealbreaker. It’s there with you every step of the way. It goes with you to parties, celebrates your victories, comforts you during heartaches, and also sometimes poops in the shower. When you stop problem-drinking, you suddenly get a third-ish of your day back. That’s because your days don’t fizzle out at 6 p.m. Instead of floating through your weekends and evenings in a dreamy fog, you’re there for all of it.
of the Funniest Burns from the Month of January 2025
Sticking to the recommended 14 units per week can help you maintain balance while staying mindful. This will probably get deleted but life is hard, boring and just awful sometimes. “The current guidelines are 14 units per week. If you can stick within those, the harms of alcohol are relatively minor.
It is always going to be difficult remembering the past, but because of it I get to grow. When I was growing up, it was clear to me, and others, that I had some self-esteem issues. It didn’t seem to matter what it was that I tried, vowed, started, or claimed that I loved — none of it ever took up any real time, space, energy or passion. It was all me and that cycle of self-worth and escaping it the only way I knew how. I treated myself like I was worthless, and my life was a direct reflection of what I told myself.
My productivity boomed, my mood was consistently higher and my confidence took an unexpected turn for the better. I also developed a Lionel Richie level of appreciation for Sunday mornings (some of which were previously spent recovering). Before I knew it, I’d gone several months without a drop, and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. From reproductive rights to https://thecinnamonhollow.com/a-guide-to-sober-house-rules-what-you-need-to-know/ climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing.
But it was definitely a conditioned craving.” explains Nutt. It was a while until I touched alcohol again after this, and when I did the cycle repeated itself, leading me to trim down the amount of times I drank over the next few years. By New Year’s Day 2024, I was ready to try an entirely dry spell – here are five things I noticed when I stopped drinking. During sixth form and my time at university, the amount you could drink was worn as a badge of honour. As a competitive person, I never wanted to be left behind, so binge drinking once or twice per week was the norm.
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